Marisha Paige=]

Not wanting to be a tempter...

2011-06-23T11:25:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhh. I have had so much to think about these past few weeks. I dont even know where to begin! Life is going by in such a blur. Everything is meshing together and i feel i have lost track of time! Last wee was girls camp...Crazy experience. Being a Junior leader i got to help on the Iron Rod, and Tali, being a fourth year got to go on it. I was chosen to be a tempter cause they already had enough angels...i thought it would be easy..i was right at the end. if they got past my tempting they would make it home into the arms of their Heavenly Father..thats alot of pressure! but it wasnt really that hard...tempting the people to go the wrong way was actually rather easy. Then Tali came along. she looked so lost and confused. everyone was telling her different ways to go..i could see the tears coming out from under her blindfold and i could see the hurt it was causing her. all she wanted to do was make it home. and i was going to be standing in the way. thats when it hit me, like a ton of bricks. i hate crying in front of people...but there i was, crying my eyes out in front of everyone. i didnt want to have to lie to her, to tell her she was going the wrong way, when she was SO close to being there. she got to me...and as soon as i told her to turn around i hated myself...she paused..because she knew me, and she knew my voice, she trusted me. its the worst feeling in the world...letting your friend down like that. i was crying so hard. luckily there were more angels. and she made it home...but that was seriously one of the hardest things i have ever done. it made me think...i dont wanna be the friend that is leading my friends down the wrong path...i want to be the one pushing them towards their eternal goals, i want to be the one encouraging them to go on missions and get married in the temple. i want to be the one they can look up to and know i will help them find the right way. i want to be a better person for them, and for myself..

Who says Mormons cant have fun?!

2011-03-04T15:22:00.000-08:00

Everyone always says that Mormons dont know how to have fun. Man, do they have alot to learn! I think Mormons can have just as much fun as anyone.(: And I have proof of some of the fun times we've had. Without getting drunk, high, or sleeping around.(:

You see, we can spend hours in wal-mart. i mean HOURS. Doing stuff that to you, would probably seem stupid. but to us, its the funnest thing.(:

Sometimes, in life, you just gotta get out. and go do something a kid would do.(:

Sometimes for fun, we just go sit in the middle of the isles at wal-mart...and we scream random stuff. the reactions on peoples faces totally make our days.

And sometimes we take pictures while laying in the middle of a street.!

Or we take fun, bumpy, wagon rides. where we spend the next hour trying to stop laughing so we can get the splinters out of our butts.

Or we yell and scream at the top of out lungs at football games. while checking out all the hot guys and picking which ones we think are the best from the team.

Or we go to concerts. and try not to let the drunks fall all over us.

Then there's always the four-wheeling. its the best. just the feeling of going fast, while every inch of you is getting covered in mud. and then losing feeling in your fingers...yeah. its great!

Or we take funny pictures while everyone stares at us like we are crazy

Then there are all the times we take pictures with signs. cant get enough of them.(:

or we dress up like freakin awesome hippies for halloween

Or we go on fun car trips with the music blasted!

Then we party it up on hotel balconies

Then we go to the parks at midnight and ride all the little kid rides. its amazing!

Then we drink capri suns and do our hair wild and take crazy pictures and record weird videos of us dancing to the music.

Or we make midnight trips to wal-mart just to try on guys' ties.(:

I could go on forever about all the things we do to have fun. I could posts millions of pictures. But just know....Mormons know how to have fun. Or atleast these ones do.(:

I love you Grandpa....

2011-01-22T21:48:00.000-08:00

Wednesday night i found out my Grandpa Wadlow had passed away...it was so sad. We had just finished setting up the activity for that night that i was in charge of helping with...and then i got the text. i tried so hard not to let it show...but Tali as usually can tell right away when something is off...she gave me one look then asked what was wrong...which made me want to cry even more! and i was trying so hard to hold it in until mutual was over! so i went to the bathroom and tried to get ahold of myself...then on the way home...i just couldn't stop. i now officially know what its like to cry while driving...and once again those silent cries got me...and the tears just rolled down my face. As soon as we got home i tried to escape to my room so Tali (who was spending the night) wouldn't see me cry. but there was no such luck. she got me in my room. and she just hugged me while i cried my eyes out in her shoulder. after i had decided i didn't want to get anymore snot or tears on her i told her i needed a minute and i went outside. then it all came out. i don't think i have cried that loud in a very long time. i was so mad and sad. mad that he was gone. sad that he was gone. mad at my mom for not even sounding like she cared. sad i didn't get to say goodbye or i love you one more time. i pretty much just had a melt down. i kicked the dirt and screamed. and asked why over and over again. then i just sat there in the dirt and let everything come out. i couldn't stop the tears for a really long time. i hurt soooo bad. i miss him so much. i always blew him off when he wanted to talk or do something, always telling myself i would have time later...and now i don't. I've cried myself to sleep the last 3 nights...i miss you grandpa. and i love you more than words can say....='(

Silent Cries...

2011-01-11T19:57:00.000-08:00

Theres two kinds of crying...the kind where you're really loud...and you're crying outloud...then the kind where you're just sitting there...and the tears just kind of silently fall down your cheeks. I think the second kind is by far the worst...you're just sitting there...and everything hits you, or one thing pushes you over the edge and makes you remember EVERYTHING and you're just left there with all these tears running down your cheeks. but you're silent, you're in despair, its like the sounds dont come out. you just sit there while you feel like your whole world is crashing down...and all there is to show for it are the tears running down your face that you cant seem to stop...and to me...these silent tears hurt ten times worse than any loud crying could...:'(

Who are you when I'm not lookin...?

2011-01-06T22:47:00.000-08:00

So lately this song has become one of my favorites....It sure does make me think. The whole 'who are you when I'm not looking?' really kind of gets to me...I feel like, when nobody is looking am i being who i should be? Do i act the same way in front of people as i do when nobody is looking? Am i who i want to be? Or do i give in to all the temptations of life when no one is looking? Then i realize someone is always looking..God is always looking. he See's everything i do when i think no one is looking...And I don't know...this song just really hits home for me for some unknown reason....just thought I'd share it(:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xXD9-1mLBY

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011.(:

2011-01-01T13:24:00.000-08:00

Well....i am still in shock that its 2011 already..i turn 16 this year! Time has just gone by way to fast, i want to enjoy my teenage years! haha, last night was the new years eve dance....what an amazing way to end the year and start the new one..it was the best dance i have ever been to in my entire life..(: life is just great right now....(:

Tali and I in our shirts we made!(: We left the back blank and asked everyone to sign them..(:

I look drugged...but it was a great night.(:

Markers!!

I think the fumes are getting to her...haha

dont mess with me...haha

Kassi Church!!!

This is a horrible picture of me...haha but i love this kid! and Tali!! haha such a fun night!!

Party like a rockstar(:

I love my best friend...(:

Cheeeeeeese...(:

Me??? really??

This is my favorite kid right here. hahaha

hahahahahahahaha, really...?

Dont mess with Sterling...haha

This is like my favorite picture ever! Its so perfect! hahaha

party!

i really dont know what was going on..haha

He's to dang tall. hahaha

Sterling Silver(:

What dorks.(:

Hahahaha,the battery was dying...

So, as you can see...the last day of 2010 was probably the best day of the whole year...i couldn't ask for better friends. They make life simply amazing.(: i love 'em all.(:

I'll miss 2010...but i know that 2011 will hold some pretty great memories...(:

Where did 2010 go??

2010-12-14T17:53:00.000-08:00

This year has gone by WAYYYY to fast...i just cant believe it. Tali and I will be sixteen next year! And i have already started driving! I cant believe how time is flying by! Soon we're gonna be adults! I know, i am way behind on blogging, sorry! but here is a review, and some pictures from this year, only some, since i have like millions! (:

When you just have to get out, have a night of fun, and forget about the world...bestfriends are always there(:

Sometimes you just have to let go, and let your inner kid out. Its the best medicine sometimes(:

Dont let life get the best of you, get the best out of life(:

Sisters. (:

Football games are amazing(:

My best friend. My sister. There she is(:

Smile always, you never know who is falling in love with it! (:

Going four-wheeling, getting covered in mud, freezing, screaming, and just having a great time is the best medicine one can have.(:

Cousins. It goes Me, Jericho (my cousin) Vic, and Kayla.
I didnt really know Jericho until Tonya was gone...but we've become a part of eachothers lifes. She is one of my greatest friends, and we are sooooo much alike. We talk all the time, and she just understands, she is the greatest cousin one could ask for(:

Sometimes, you just gotta dance. This picture was taken at the Egbert Ranch Dance...i think one of the best ones yet(:

Spending time with friends and loved ones is the best thing you can do.. you can never spend to much time with someone.

Tallin. I miss this kid like crazy! He was the only one i could text at one in the morning, just cause i knew he'd be up! Or the one i could ask advice for on anything and he'd never hesitate to try to help. This was on the night we said our last goodbye for two years, he is now serving our Lord in Fiji, and he is probably one of the greatest missionaries ever,(:

Driving around, dancing in the car, blasting the music, all with your best friend, ya, its good for the soul.(:

Dont do drugs kids.(: or let friends take pictures of you passed out on an overdose of capri sun and the song Firework...(:

Sometimes you just have to let go. and not care what people will think or say.(:

Best friends can see beyond the fake smiles, and see the sadness in the eyes.

Riah. (:

Sometimes the nevada day parade can get a little wild..but hey, it was for a good cause! ;)

This year i have also found out that i want a cowgirl hat. BAD. I also want boots and a guitar. Guess it was bound to happen someday(:

Somedays we just go to seminary right from bed. just for fun. ya, be jealous(:

We are a thousand voices strong.(:

Bestfriends(:

Kailee, she's all grown up and legal now.(:

When you get away, and just go into the wild for a day. You can finally realize just how happy one can truly be.(:

yess. we make random trips to wal mart at midnight just to try on ties, so what? (:

So this year 2010 has been a great one, and yess i am sad to see it end. But i am excited, and yes, scared to see what the future holds.(:

Suicide..A permanent solution to a temporary problem..=(

2010-09-15T09:02:00.000-07:00

On the morning of Tuesday September 14th, my sweet sweet cousin, Tonya Milobar, sadly took her own life, she left behind kids and a life =( I am still in shock, and i keep asking myself is there anything i could have done, or said? Could i have maybe talked to her more and spent more time with her and let her know more often how loved she was? Just last month we drove around in her car and talked about guys and her kids and life..and now shes gone, i miss her so much =( And i cant stop thinking that maybe i could have helped =( But its to late now, and i will see you in the next life Tonya, I love you and miss you! =(

Best Friends:)

2010-09-11T15:35:00.000-07:00

So i have this friend, no..shes more than a friend, shes my BEST friend, Shes my Sister:) I laugh more with this girl than anyone else, she knows more about me than anyone else, probably even more than i know about myself, the first time i met this girl.. i wouldnt even talk to her..and now, when we are together we are like inseperable. we always tell eachother everything, and can spend hours on the phone everyday talking about life, and of course guys, we always laugh, and we have the best inside jokes, and more inportantly, we get eachother. We can walk to the park and spend hours just laughing and talking and taking a MILLION pictures, we always spend like 5 hours before each dance just to get ready, and we laugh and just dance and have fun, and when my mom lets me take the truck we even go driving like crazy teens, and we take a million pictures then to, and blast the music and make the car "dance". we can talk for hours on the phone, we have midnight phone calls when one of us cant sleep, and we talk about guys of whatever, and then theres the 3 way calls with guys just to make us happy, and the texting for eachother. Basically, all my good memories, i share with this girl, we are the best of friends:)

Last Days with Tallin a.k.a Elder Lotu

2010-09-11T15:18:00.000-07:00

So Saturday August 21st I got to spend with Tali at Ariels in Spring Creek, We had a blast! earlier that day I got to go to the Movies with Tallin for the last time before he left, and then hang out with him more...it was so much fun but then i kept thinking of how this was one of the last days i got to spend with him! The Thursday before that i also got to play fugitive with him, and Kailee and Kassi and them, it was the first time i had ever played and it was SO MUCH FUN! haha. So Sunday the 22nd Tali and i got up and went to Ariels ward, then at 11 Tallin came and picked us up, to go to his ward for his farewell talk we got sucked into singing in the youth choir with him, it was amazing though and im so glad we did, when it got time for him to talk..it was an amazing talk, SO amazing..I cried like a freaking baby...then we went to class with Kailee and Kassi..it was the most interesting sunday school ever! The teacher told us if we didnt understand the plan of salvation we might as well shoot ourselves cause we have no purpose in life! Haha it was indeed and interesting class! Then we went over to his house to get ready for the dinner they were having for him that night, I LOVE the Church house! So we got to do all that fun stuff! We just hung out and laughed, played some volleyball, jumped on the trampoline, drove around, walked to the marina, and swung on the swings and just laughed. It was one of the greatest nights of my life! Even though i knew it was the last night i would spend with my best friend Tallin before he left to Fiji..It was a great time..we just talked and laughed and we all just had a good time:) The hardest part was the last hug when he dropped me off and said goodbye..i cried like a freaking baby! but im happy for him:)

On our way to Bree's house, Kassi was driving, we had the music blasted we just laughed the whole time! :)

Kailee!!!!!! Haha this girl makes me laugh!

Kassi and I, what a crazy driver! hahaha Just kidding!

Kailee showing off her stuff on out walk to the Marina

Our last group picture with Tallin

Tallin and I as we were dropping Tali off, we decided we needed to get some pictures.

Tallin and I, our last picture before he left for good, I miss this Elder..

So all in all, that sunday i will have to say was one of the happiest, sad, amazing, unbelievable, funnest days of my life, i got to spend it with the amazing Church family, and 4 of my best friends...it was the perfect goodbye for the next 2 years..:)

2010-09-11T14:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry Its been so long! So much has been happening! Life is definately crazy. Lol. So let me try to update you...Since my last post..there has been Another dance, One of my best friends (Tallin Church) left on his mission to Fiji, My family life..is well something to be desired, and so much more going on!

Dance the night away:)

2010-07-31T22:29:00.000-07:00

Well last night was the dance at the Egberts ranch, so Tali came over at 9 and we started getting ready..okay thats a lie we just laughed and got stuck in laundry baskets and blasted music until like 2 then we really started getting ready ha, anyways we finally somehow managed to get to the ranch without dying (long story haha) and i LOVE their ranch its SO beautiful:) The dance was good...not the best i've been to but it was good, towards the end i thought i was gonna pass out...Tali says it had to do with me being up for 42 hours straight, what a silly girl! :) haha but it was fun, i got to talk to alot of friends and see alot of hot guys so it was definately worth it:) Then Kassi and Kailee showed up, Kassi couldnt find a charging port hahahaha (inside joke) so then we decided next time there is lightning and thunder i am going to bring my bike out to their house and we're gonna go for a ride! Then Tali got to slap a guy for me..i felt bad he was in the middle of apologizing when Tali just comes up and slaps him! Poor guy...oh well haha, I was sad that my amazing friend Tallin did not get to come, he had work sadly! But its okay i bet they have killer dances in Fiji haha, not that he'll get to go to any since he'll be a missionary...but its a thought right? :) Then after the dance we had to stop at the loves gas station in Wells, so me and my brilliant friend Savanna decide to dance in the sprinklers, we got SOAKED. It was an amazing end to an amazing night:)

Footprints...

2010-07-28T06:24:00.000-07:00

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, You said that once I decided to follow You, You'd walk with me all the way. But i have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I dont understand why when I needed You the most You would leave me."

The Lord replied, "My son, My precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

This is one of my ABSOLUTE favorite stories...i read it over and over all the time...and right now i feel like i need the Lord to carry me...i feel like sometimes im not going to make it...i feel like this is just where my road ends..then i remember this story, and i remember that he would never leave me, so right now im asking him..please help carry me through this trial..

Back to the 50's...Sort of. haha

2010-07-27T05:16:00.000-07:00

So we had a 50's sock hop out in spring creek on friday for church..Tali and I decided to get ready together..we dressed up..sort of, but when we got there hardly anyone else was! So we just laughed and decided to just try and enjoy it, it ended up being okay..not the best dance but i got to spend the night enjoying Tali and her family, which is pretty much my family! So it was great! PLUS..i got to hug a great guy..TWICE! So that alone made it totally worth it! :)

Tali and I before heading out to the dance:)

We may be retards..but atlease we have fun!

After a long night of partyin..not really haha

After i got changed out of my not so 50's outfit:)

Me and Tali in the wild on our own for a Day =]

2010-07-27T05:02:00.000-07:00

So, on Wednesday me and my best friend Tali took off into the wild on our own for the day:) We decided to go hiking up to lamoile lake, and it certainly was an adventure! We decided to be stupid and jump in the freezing water...needless to say we almost died..as soon as we jumped in our bodies and muscles froze, we couldnt breathe hardly and as we tried swimming to the edge i seriously thought this was my last moment alive we were literally sinking! But in the end we made it! i could barely get out of the water..and us being stupid forgot towels so we had to air dry, i thought we were gonna freeze to death! But after everything..i would do it again...MAYBE:)

This is the lake we so stupidly jumped into..notice the snow!

One of the smaller lakes we passed on the way up

The view from half way up

So pretty:)

Me and my bestfriend in the WHOLE world, Tali:)

We spent a day in the wild, we talked alot and it made me realize just how much i love this silly girl! Shes more than a friend she is my sister:)

First update on life:)

2010-07-25T03:50:00.001-07:00

Well! Life today...is well life i guess! these last few months have been WOW way crazy..i've fallen for a new guy, one who is constantly in my head..like CONSTANTLY, ive made many new friends. partied, cried, laughed, hugged, smiled, hit and everything else you can do in a summer:) and for now..this is all i got to say..lame i know..but im sure i'll think of more:)

Well...

2010-07-25T03:42:00.000-07:00

SO..i've decided its time i start my blog back up, so i deleted all the old and decided to start over..atleast once a week im gonna try and write a highlight of whats going on in the ever so disfunctional Polish household and my life...so yea..this should be interesting:)